Styx -- "Come Sail Away"

Thanks to readers Emma and Peter for the recommendation.

No real comment on this video, expect to say that I REALLY want to buy the basketball jersey or whatever it is that the drummer is wearing.

Also, TONIGHT Styx is performing LIVE with REO Speedwagon and .38 Special! This is not a joke. If you are in or around Bismarck, N.D., as I'm sure many of you are, I recommend that you drop everything and head for the Bismarck Civic Center Arena for a show that is, quite accurately in my opinion, billed as "Can't Stop Rockin'."

But why stop there? Head on out to St. Paul, Minn., tomorrow for the Minnesota State Fair to see the very same lineup, or to Elkhorn, Wisc., on Sunday for the Walworth County Fair (?!), which is apparently a solo gig for Styx. In the 7:30 time slot at the county fair, Styx will be in direct competition, playing the grandstand, with the Bosworth Family Lumberjack Show over in something called "Kiddieland." VERY tough call ... as you are most likely well aware, the Bosworth family can really jack that lumber.

Okay.

I’m sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea / I’ve got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me

Sounds like a bold move. The question is, will you be able to carry on, Dennis DeYoung?

On board, I’m the captain, so climb aboard

I'm going to be honest, the lyrics to this song are not terrible. The real awesomelybadness lies in the last verse. However, this line is pretty bad. If he just sang "I'm the captain, so climb aboard," it would be totally fine, but to add the extra "on board" at the beginning? Why? The worst part is it's not even a matter of needing the right number of syllables ... it's almost as if the "on board" part is shoehorned in, like it's a vital piece of information that just must be imparted to the listener. In fact, it is entirely superfluous.

OK, let's just carry on here.

We'll search for tomorrow on (and?) every shore

I swear it sounds like DeYoung says "ond" both in the studio version and in the live performance linked above. He seems to be singing "on" and then adds a "d" sound. Both "on" and "and" would make sense here, so I'm stumped.

And I’ll try, oh lord, I’ll try to carry on

Whee! I love the way he sings "carry on." If I was writing out the lyrics phonetically I'd probably use about 23 A's in the word "carry."

Also, I guess Dennis DeYoung is supposed to be trying to escape something in this song, but damned if I know what it is. I guess it doesn't really matter.

I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory / Some happy, some sad / I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had / We live happily forever, so the story goes / But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold / But we’ll try best that we can to carry on

Not much to say here, except that this song was quite obviously ghostwritten by a leprechaun who yearns to be a pirate.

A gathering of angels appeared above my head / They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said / They said come sail away, come sail away / Come sail away with me

This is a fitting conclusion to what is actually quite a nice little parable. A man burdened by some unnamed pressures of society has decided to "sail away" to start a new life. He takes on a traveling companion who is willing to take a risk and join him on this journey. As he leaves, he inevitably feels a bit wistful/nostalgic/apprehensive about leaving everything behind, but knows in his heart that he is making the right decision, and that the potential rewards of his departure outweigh the risks. Then a vision of angels confirms that he is, in fact, going down the correct path.

Well done, Dennis DeYoung. I applaud you for writing a fairly coherent little song here and now I'm just going to enjoy this nice little guitar/synth/keyboard/whatever solo that's going on here and ... wait a minute ... sounds like another verse might be coming? Now I'm nervous.

I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise / They climbed aboard their starship, we headed for the skies

Noooooo!!!!!!! Aliens??? ALIENS?!?!!! He gets abducted by aliens?!>!>!^&@!%#$^&!%#E#$##&**()_ ? > ????? COME ON!!!! We had such a good thing going there. I didn't know this song was actually written by M. Night freaking Shyamalan. Argh. I don't know what to say. Oh well, at least we can break out the "space travel" tag, which I've been using with surprising frequency.

Singing come sail away, come sail away / Come sail away with me

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

.38 Special -- "Hold on Loosely"

These guys look they would've been fun to hang out with. However, I will still meticulously deconstruct their lyrics, which is kind of the opposite of fun.

Fun fact: .38 Special lead singer Donnie Van Zant is the brother of Lynyrd Skynyrd singer and Florida-born Alabama icon Ronnie Van Zant. A third Van Zant brother, Johnny, who rebelliously decided to spell his rhyming first name with a "y" instead of an "ie," now tours with the reunited Skynyrd. The Van Zants are to Southern rock singers as the Molinas are to major-league-baseball catchers. OK then! Now that everyone has lost interest, let's get started!

You see it all around you / Good lovin' gone bad / And usually it's too late when you realize what you had

Pretty standard stuff about lost love ... nothing to see here. Move along.

And my mind goes back to a girl I left some years ago

Note that Mr. Van Zant here acknowledges that he is the one who left.

Who told me, just hold on loosely, but don't let go / If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control

There's a lot going on here in the chorus. First of all, holding on loosely without actually letting go seems like a fine line to walk. (As, perhaps, is a relationship?) Clearly, the message is that we shouldn't smother our significant others. This is fine, but I have trouble reconciling this cautionary statement about clinging too tightly with the previous statement that he left. Did he accidentally hold on too loosely and ended up letting go? I'm kind of confused.

Your baby needs someone to believe in / And a whole lot of space to breathe in

Set a shining example for your partner through your actions, while also ignoring her to a large extent. Check.

It's so damn easy, when your feelings are such / To overprotect her, to love her too much ... Don't let her slip away / Sentimental fool / Don't let your heart get in her way

More mixed messages. Overprotection and "lov(ing) her too much" seem like consequences of clinging too tightly, while "let(ting) her slip away" would seemingly happen if one held on too loosely. "Don't let your heart get in her way" could be read any number of different ways. Damn you, Donnie Van Zant! Because you are a certified Rock and Roll Lyricist, I have naturally turned to you for relationship advice and instead have become entangled in some hellish cobweb of contradictory platitudes. I am tempted to tell you that your father, Lonnie Van Zant, never liked you and always preferred your brothers, Ronnie and Johnny.

And now, my impression of Donnie Van Zant teaching his daughter, little Bonnie Van Zant, how to fly a kite.

DVZ: OK, so the key to flying a kite is to hold on loosely.
BVZ: Thanks, Daddy!
DVZ: Here we go ... no, you're clinging too tightly. Hold on loosely. No, too loose! You're going to let her slip away! No, too tight again!! You're overprotecting the kite and loving it too much! Give it some space to breathe in! What in the Sweet Home Alabama are you ....
Kite: (flies away)

Anyhoo, "Hold on Loosely" is a fantastic song. Try to keep it out of your head. I dare you.