I refuse to apologize to Phil Collins, though, because he penned these lyrics that seem pretty reasonable on their face, but taken as a unit, are quite obviously the unhinged ravings of a madman.
OK, that was a joke, but wait a minute: Phil Collins thinks he is the reincarnation of an American Alamo survivor. You should really take a minute and read this article ... it quotes Phil Collins as saying "Fuck music," which is an awesome thing for a famous musician to say. And it has a funny picture of Phil Collins wearing a coonskin cap. Also, he wrote a 416-page (!) coffee table book about the Alamo and his big collection of Alamo stuff. Who's the crazy one now, Phil?!
Well I've been waiting, waiting here so long
But thinking nothing, nothing could go wrong
Although the conjunction "but" doesn't really fit here -- does thinking nothing could go wrong somehow contradict the act of waiting for so long? -- these lyrics are fine. In fact, pretty much the whole song is fine except for one line that completely ruins the whole thing. We will get to that, and I will rant and rave in a manner that is hopefully somewhat amusing!
But now I know
She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
Good job redeeming yourself by using the word "but" properly, Phil Collins! I love the way he sings "built in ability" in this part. The assonance and consonance are cool. This is just a fun little ditty about a genetically engineered kleptomaniac!
And now it seems I'm falling, falling for her
This conjunction also makes sense in context! Hooray for proper grammar!
One other thing I like about this song is the use of repetition on "waiting," "nothing," and "falling."
Since I have nothing snarky to say here, I may as well also compliment the video for this song, which is endearingly quirky and features the band members goofing around, Phil Collins singing into his drumsticks like they're a microphone, some random table tennis and a giant hamster wheel.
Also, I thought guitarist Mike Rutherford, who went on to form Mike & the Mechanics, was Pete Townshend. What do you guys think? Mike is on the right.
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart
Having an invisible touch is a great superpower for a genetically engineered kleptomaniac.
OK, so the lyrics so far are just fine ... we have a woman who was very attractive to Phil Collins, and he fell in love with her, but now, through some kind of painful experience he has learned that she was bad for him, and this song is chronicling that experience to serve as a sort of cautionary tale. Right? Right??
I don't really know her, I only know her name
No. NO. NOOOOOO!!!! WHAT?! You don't really know her? You only know her name?! But ... then ... how do you ... how can you ... is her name Cruella DeVille? Kimberly Heartripper? Jennifer freaking Aniston? Agggghhhh Phil Collins how did you survive the Alamo I don't like you anymore. I am going to give your coffee-table book a one-star review on Amazon.
But she crawls under your skin, you're never quite the same, and now I know
She's got something you just can't trust
It's something mysterious
And now it seems I'm falling, falling for her
What. Is. Going. On. First of all, a bit of an overload of creepy internal-organ-mangling metaphors with "grabs right hold of your heart," "slowly tears you apart," and "crawls under your skin." And, once again, how can you know this?! Now you know you can't trust her? You don't even know her!! You just said that. You just said it!
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart
She don't like losing, to her it's still a game
Though she'll mess up your life, you'll want her just the same, now I know
She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
And now it seems I've fallen, fallen for her.
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart
This song is so frustrating because without that one line, the lyrics are actually pretty decent. So how do we explain away the insane notion that he doesn't know this woman (only knows her name) and yet can describe with certainty, in very graphic and gory detail, what she will do to him?
Theory A: Phil Collins is actually describing a certain "type" of woman, and he has had this experience before with someone else, and somehow can recognize just by seeing this woman and learning her name that she will manipulate him and break his heart? This would be a super arrogant/delusional claim. Verdict: Bad lyrics!
Theory B: Phil Collins is saying that despite them having all these experiences together, he still doesn't really know her in any meaningful way. This would be a plausible reading, and tie the song together, except for the part about only knowing her name, which pretty clearly indicates he doesn't actually know her at all. Verdict: Bad lyrics!
Theory C: Phil Collins never left The Alamo. The woman in this song is the wild frontier of the West and the tantalizing lands held by Mexico, the speaker America. Although he understands that Manifest Destiny is an inherently flawed concept that will only lead to an unquenchable thirst for new land, new frontiers, and an expansion of the country's sphere of influence, resulting in misadventures overseas and senseless loss of life, slowly tearing the country apart, messing up people's lives, even though we thought nothing, nothing could go wrong, we were always just waiting, waiting here so long for that great destiny to be fulfilled, yet, yet, that invisible touch, the pull of the unknown, is too powerful to resist. That would be pretty cool. So either Phil Collins wrote one bad lyric once, or he is actually John W. Smith and cannot escape his fortress-defending, raccoon-wearing past. You decide, dear reader!
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