Monday, July 13, 2009

Foreigner -- "Hot Blooded"

Yippee!!!

Please have a seat ... we're going to be here for a while.

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see / I got a fever of a hundred and three

a) I don't think I want to know what "it" is.
b) I've said it before and I'll say it again: Please consult a physician at once!

Come on baby, do you do more than dance? / I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

Asking a woman if she "do(es) more than dance" would be incredibly insulting, in my opinion. However, if followed by repeated statements that one is "hot blooded," the woman would probably be less insulted than concerned about your mental health. Please consult a psychiatrist, Lou Gramm.

You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind

... Because I am about to tell you in explicit, juvenile, and frightening detail.

Honey you oughta know / Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line / I wanna know what you're doin' after the show

OK, Mr. Gramm, you've "la(id) it on the line" and she's clearly not interested. Why don't you just lay down for a bit and let's see if that fever will go down a little ... oh, you're going to take the insanity up a notch instead? I see.

Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous / Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew

"You see, I am in possession of a pornographic 'video-tape' containing images of man and beast performing unspeakable acts on each other. Interested? Yes? No? Hmm?"

Also, why the sudden need for secrecy? I'm confused.

If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
/ Shall I leave you my key?

Um, Mr. Gramm, I believe the way it works is that the lady is supposed to give you *her* key. Unless, of course, by "key," you mean ... oh.

But you've got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign / Tell me, are you hot, mama? You sure look that way to me

I think if you haven't received a sign by now, she's probably not that interested. Also, she may appear hot because you have a dangerously high body temperature and are hallucinating. Please see a doctor, Lou Gramm. I have my car right here. I'd be happy to take you to the emergency room. Oh, sorry, you're not done?

Are you old enough? / Will you be ready when I call your bluff?

What?? Seriously, what? These might be the two creepiest and least romantic questions of all time. Any woman in her right mind would slowly back away and possibly alert the authorities upon hearing this. Well, actually, she probably would have left the conversation about five minutes ago, but that's neither here nor there.

Is my timing right? / Did you save your love for me tonight?

Timing is the least of your problems. The second question is also extremely creepy. It sounds like the kind of thing a serial killer would ask his victim after he had him or her tied up in the basement.

Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see / Feel the fever burning inside of me / Come on baby, do you do more than dance? / I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded, I'm hot

"The fever" ...

Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous? / Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who

Jesus, this song is really weird. Does Lou Gramm already know this person? Up until now it seemed like he was addressing some random girl at a show. Who is "you know who"? So weird and creepy.

Hot blooded, every night / Hot blooded, you're looking so tight / Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild / Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child / Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high / Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy / Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing

Eeesh. The outro reaches an insane new crescendo of creepiness. It seriously sounds like he's talking about child molestation. I think I'm going to take this post and move it to my new blog, http://disconcertinglydementedlyrics.blogspot.com. Also, if any law-enforcement officers are reading this (unlikely), I would like to ask that you immediately take Mr. Lou Gramm into custody.

6 comments:

  1. I came here from Comics Curmudgeon. When I heard of the site, the first song I thought of was "Hot Blooded." But you neglected to mention the most irritating aspect of the song: he rhymes "you don't have to read my mind/ to know what I have in mind." Lazy!

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  2. You left out the lyric "You're makin' me sing". I always holler, "Make him stop!"

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  3. "Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from You-Know-Who"

    This song was on the playlist at work, and it frequently made me wonder why the singer wanted to go out with Voldemort's girlfriend.

    --Gg83

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  4. dangfromthecitiesJuly 20, 2009 at 11:46 PM

    Amen to that, anonymous, he sings "have in mind" like it's a pun, but it's just offputting. And yes, the "you-know-who" has always puzzled me--I always imagined it was the drummer in the band, who was presumably doing distracting card tricks in front of Lou's targeted lady woman and generally messing up his game.

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  5. I thought he was singing to a girl in the audience and "you know who" was the guy she came to the Foreigner show with. Take your girlfriend to see Foreigner and the singer will try to steal her from you! I remember finding that really offensive when it came out.

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  6. Whenever I've heard this song, I picture the girl as a stripper. The whole "do you do more than dance" thing I guess. Now after reading the lyrics, I'm picturing an underage girl being forced not only to dance and strip, but also to put up with the lewd advances of creepy men. And then she goes back to the dressing room and cries...

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