Saturday, July 18, 2009

Rick Springfield -- "Jessie's Girl"

Fun fact! Rick Springfield is the only celebrity ever to look like Nick Drake ...
AND Steve Buscemi ...

at some point during his career!!!

Now, before I head out the door to receive my award for "Worst Blog Layout," let's mock some lyrics, shall we?

Jessie is a friend / Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine

Look at you, Rick Springfield! Having a friend and all. That's so nice. I sure hope nothing ever happens to screw it up!

But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define / Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine


And she's watching him with those eyes


And she's lovin' him with that body / I just know it / Yeah 'n' he's holding her in his arms late, late at night / You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl

I can't think of anything to say about this. Kind of awkwardly phrased but inoffensive.

So, the next line poses a problem ... all of the Web sites I've checked claim it is "Where can I find a woman like that?" but I am like 90 percent sure he actually says "Why can't I find a woman like that?" Just to be safe, I will make fun of them both.

Where can I find a woman like that?

So far all you've been able to tell us about her is that she has eyes and a body, so my answer would be "literally anywhere."

Why can't I find a woman like that?

Probably because you are a boring, creepy Australian guy who spends most of his time mooning around, trying to look intense and obsessing over his friend's girlfriend.

I play along with the charade, there doesn't seem to be a reason to change / You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute / I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot

1. Why would you feel "dirty" when they start talking cute? Are you like sitting at the next table at the food court in the mall, wearing a fedora and a fake mustache and furtively masturbating with one of those plastic trays covering your lap? Probably.

2. The last line might be the most sensible lyric I have ever posted. Kudos, Rick Springfield!

And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time, wondering what she don't see in me / I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines / Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?



  1. OMG! What a great idea for a blog! So funny!

  2. I too always thought Rick was saying "Why can't I find me a woman like that."

    Very funny site. Thanks!

  3. dangfromthecitiesJuly 20, 2009 at 11:32 PM

    The "And she'd lovin' him with that body-I just know it" line was thrown in there by Rick's handlers to make sure that people didn't think he was a peeping tom who had verified that she was indeed "lovin' him with that body."

  4. what always bothered me was the Rick Springfield struck me as a guy who would NEVER say "moot" under normal circumstances, but couldn't be assed to go get the rhyming dictionary to put something more natural in there.

  5. Yawn. You lost me when you started ragging on the musicians themselves, a tactic that seems engineered to bring in the outraged hordes of aging fans and generate publicity. And you're taking on targets that are every rock critic's age-old favorite targets (and old targets at that).

  6. I think he actually says, "When can I find a woman like that?" But, of course, the answer is just about the same: "Just about anytime, man!"

  7. I don't think he's using the adjective moot correctly here. Unless we agree that the his love for her is indeed "deprived of practical singificance" (Webster's New Collegiate). Like the rest of his oeuvre. - Durf

  8. I remember hearing this song as a kid, and for years I thought the lyric was "I wish that I WAS Jessie's girl." Which makes it a much more interesting somg in my opinion.

  9. Moot. You're sure that's in the song? For me the song has always been just "blah blah blah blah JESSIE'S GIRL! blah blah blah JESSIE'S GIRL" and I just left it at that. But now...

    Moot. Some phrases and terms just don't fit in a rock song, OK? Like the demo a guy played for me once that included the line "your love burned but would not cauterize." (He worked nights as an ER nurse.)

    Moot, I just know I'm going to spend the rest of the day saying that in my head over and over. Moot.

    Moot moot moot moot. Dang. Moot moot moot.

  10. I always thought the song sounded like he said he "Wished that he WAS Jessie's girl". Maybe I've never heard the song clearly enough...

  11. The lyrics indicate that Springfield is an unreliable (and clueless) narrator who is hapless around the ladies. He can only pine for his best friend's girl, keep tossing out his "cool" lines, and stew passive-aggressively while pondering how she's lovin' him with that body. Actually, it's a pretty creepy song.

  12. its a song that perfectly sumarizes how most teenaged boys feel about a girl. Thinks shes cute, but too afraid to talk to her, and is jealous of her boyfriend.
    Rick was a shy kid and did have a hard time talking to girls, have you really never been shy, can you honestly not see how someone could feel that way???

    and yes the lyrics ARE "WHERE can i find a woman like that"

    and im not an agiing fan im only 20 years old

  13. This is great! =D

  14. Great concept for the blog, but unfortunately you're simply not funny at all. Your jokes are really lame and lack that punch and twist of more talented comedic writers. You go for the cheap laugh which is a sign that you really have no clue what you're doing. And seriously, it's just retarded to go after Rick Springfield, kinda like shooting fish in a barrel.

  15. I think it's: "why can't I find her, a woman like that?"
    Great blog!