"Little Drummer Boy"

I have little to say about this song, which is generally fine. However, as the father of a young child, I can confidently say that when caring for a newborn one values a little peace and quiet above all else, and some kid coming over uninvited to bang out a noisy drum solo would be a uniquely awful gift.

Also, the Dandy Warhols do an excellent cover of this song. Check it out.

I made a Christmas playlist a few weeks ago and have been listening to it almost exclusively, much, I am sure, to my wife and child's chagrin. I have become something of a Christmas music connoisseur, though, and I would like to offer my Top 13 Christmas songs.

13. Sleigh Ride -- The Ronettes

The whole Phil Spector Christmas album is pretty excellent (see #2 on this list as well) and worth listening to, except for the part where Phil Spector bizarrely starts doing a creepy voice-over during the closing number, "Silent Night." That was quickly removed from the playlist.

12. Christmas Wrapping -- The Waitresses

I have no idea who The Waitresses are, but this is a super-fun quirky little Christmas song.

11. All I Want for Christmas Is You -- Mariah Carey

I'm as surprised as you that this ended up on here, but it is so goddamn catchy.


10. Just Like Christmas -- Low

Low is one of those bands that I always forget about, and then whenever I hear them I'm like "Shit, Low is so good." And then I forget about them again. This song is fabulous.

9. Christmas Unicorn -- Sufjan Stevens

Sufjan Stevens has recorded literally almost 100 Christmas songs that are contained in two massive albums, and while there are a handful of traditional songs, they seem to mostly be original compositions. He is ridiculous and insane and I love him. "Hey Guys! It's Christmas Time!" is another great one.

8. Father Christmas -- The Kinks

C'mon, it's the Kinks. Father Christmas! Gimme some money!

7. Christmas in Hollis -- Run-DMC

This song is a rollicking good time.

6. Pretty Paper -- Willie Nelson

C'mon, it's Willie Nelson. Best voice ever.

5. Run Rudolph Run -- Chuck Berry

This one should probably be a little lower but I don't feel like rearranging the whole list. It's good. Also, the lyrics say "Run run Rudolph" but the title is "Run Rudolph Run." Why?

4. 2000 Miles -- The Pretenders

What a lovely song. I don't know why, but this somehow evokes the image of a snowy evening more effectively than any other Christmas song I know.

3. White Christmas -- Otis Redding

What a gorgeous version of this song. It makes the more famous Bing Crosby version sound like all nine of Santa's reindeer crash-landing into a giant Christmas-tree shaped pile of dog shit topping with a star made of putrefying rat carcasses tied together with the intestines of a diseased goat.


2. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) -- Darlene Love

I don't know if I had ever heard this song before this Christmas season, but it has quickly become my favorite. Just fantastic. Hard to describe why -- just listen.


1. A Charlie Brown Christmas -- The Vince Guaraldi Trio

This is, of course, cheating, but how can you pick a single song? The whole album is just so perfect. Nothing says Christmas to me like putting this on while we decorate the tree, and maybe mull some wine, and it's not snowing but sure it could be, and it's warm inside and cold outside and for one of those rare moments everything is perfect.

Thanks everybody! Not sure what this blog is anymore. Luckily, nobody reads it so I will not be asked to explain anytime soon.